New Music: San Diego Chicken (final version)

Concluding the month of May (and what Chris has hilariously dubbed my Blue Period) with my third and final mix of this. This new version has the same lead vocal as before, with a few punch-ins to clean up some minor glitches that were bugging me. Plus I added a second lead vocal to the background mix, because AWESOME NEW MICROPHONE PREAMP IS AWESOME, y’all. In addition, there are more background vocals, shakers, an electric piano riff, and some “spaghetti western” type guitar noises (made with MIDI).

And though I love the final result, as cat is my witness, I will never, ever spend two months futzing with one song, ever again. Unless someone is paying me to do it. Four new songs are awaiting my producing fingers and even more in the hopper, including some rockers!

Oh, and in case it wasn’t obvious, I’m bagging the every-other-Friday thing for good. My goal will be to get something out every other Friday, but for now, I’m not going to pressure myself for time, and just finish them when I finish them.

San Diego Chicken
Words and music by Andee Joyce

You have everything
And it makes you want to die
‘Cause you know nobody
Thinks a rich girl should cry
The mask they gave you
Has a permanent grin
You’ve memorized the chants
That you lead the crowd in
You’ve gotta dress like a bird
And sing like a clown
Those people paid good money
You’re not gonna let them down

They turn the firehose on you
And everybody screams
And you get soaking wet
But you never get clean
You’ve gotta shower with the costume on
You’ve gotta eat with the costume on
Sleep with the costume on
Do all your business with the costume on
Five more minutes of that and you’re gone

But what if there was a way
To ease the burden
Of wearing that thing all day and night
Five more of us who know all your moves
And in the suit we all look and sound alike

Maybe the thought of sharing all the love
Is filling up your heavy heart with dread
But what do you do when that giant plastic head
Is crowding all your lovers out of bed?
It’s time to

Get out of LA
Go be a San Diego Chicken
Turn off your phone
Go incommunicado
Kibitz with the jarheads
On the bus to Coronado
Stick your toes in the baby powder sand
Just make sure you’re back here
By 7 like we planned
No one will know it’s not the same girl
Look at me, I just fixed the world
Look at me, I just fixed the world

I’m glad you’re back
To take over for a spell
I was getting kind of tired
Of the smell of myself
It’s 93 degrees out
We all want to go home
Your mechanical tongue licks an ice cream cone
And you don’t get to taste it
Or feel it in your mouth
But the kids eat it up
Isn’t that what life’s about?

Now that I’ve been here
And hear the static you receive
Every time you do your act
It’s hard to believe
That people cry themselves to sleep ‘cause they’re not you
They starve themselves ‘cause they’re not you
Hate themselves ‘cause they’re not you
Jump off bridges ‘cause they’re not you
And all you can think is, if only they knew

People crane their necks back
To gaze into your eyes
‘Cause they think your eyes are ten feet off the ground
That those colorful feathers grow out of your skin
And your throat really makes that hilarious sound

That evil little death troll living in your mind
Wants you to think things that aren’t true
Like you’re a spoiled brat who doesn’t know how good she has it
It’s no wonder if you
Just want to

(repeat chorus)

If you want to be a chicken
It’s really okay
‘Cause most of us are chickens
And we couldn’t do the things
That you do all day
The troll is creative
I know him too well
He used to live in my head
It was pure hell
But I put him to sleep
And I know you can too
All five of us have been there
We’ll show you what we do

There’s things about being you
We’ll never understand
But there’s safety in numbers and
The six of us together can tell that evil death troll
To go pound baby powder sand
Go pound baby powder sand
Go pound baby powder sand
Go pound baby powder sand
Yeah, have fun with that

But what about the money
I know that’s what you think
One more year of being poor
Was gonna drive you back to drink
But you still get half
And half for us five
A small price, really
To keep yourself alive
It sounds like a lot to
Split up six ways
But there’s so much now
You’ll never miss it anyway

And think of all the others
Who have been there in the past
With one foot off the ledge
And the other going fast
And they were celebrated just as much as you
They were paid just as much as you
Loved just as much as you
Got to do their art just as high as you
If only they’d gotten their privacy too

Maybe now that
You’ve seen ordinary life
You’ll run on back to Hollywood
No one would blame you at all because
In a lot of ways, the rest of us don’t have it so good

But at least we can say exactly how we feel
Without worrying that we’ll lose all our fans
And if you ever do change your mind
Just know that the offer still stands
The offer perpetually stands
If you ever want to

(repeat chorus)

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